health journal — physical panic

Health Journal — 12/2/25 5:00 AM Last night I had a full on physical attack. My blood pressure peaked at 191/110, heart rate 100. My body was shaking, and I was stiffened particularly in my mid section. Stephanie helped calm me by having me lay down, deep breath, rubbed my head. This took nearly 15 minutes to dissipate. My medication regime for the day had been 3 busier in the am; 2 buspar at 1pm; then I took an additional 2 at 7pm when the attack started. I also took an extra metoprolol to help bring my heart and blood pressure back down. I was back down to a normal 120/81 within 30 minutes. I drank. That’s what sucks. I had 2 glasses of wine from 5pm-7pm and I felt the attack coming on as the inebriation was itself settling in. I’m also noticing right now that cannabis also has an anxiety inducing physical effect, and not in a good way. It appears I will have to avoid both indefinitely. I’d like to add “or at least until we figure something out” but I think this revelation is the thing that I’m figuring out. If I look back at my behaviors over the past (let’s say) year, I’ve been intentionally doing all of these things that are famous for INCREASING anxiety. Heavy coffee consumption beginning at 4am. Cannabis consistently throughout the day. Redbull chase sometimes at 11am, sometimes at 6pm. Sometimes both in the past few months. Prednisone overuse gets piled on top on that. The coffee and red bull physically make my heart race and my stomach churn. The cannabis increases my blood pressure and makes me paranoid. The prednisone makes me manic and overactive. This all leads into a spiral of non-stop activity, inability to focus, and a fucked up sleep pattern. It’s a cycle that feeds itself, because as I feel the energy surging or fading (yeah either way) I fuel it with the same things that are causing the problem. See above. I have fucking anxiety disorder of some sort. It’s manifesting in a physical manner, and it’s deleterious to my overall health. I think that after just two weeks I may already be stuck taking the buspar for life. I’m not sure the dosage is correct yet, but when it’s working it works great. Was last night’s attack a side effect of medication, medication withdrawal, an interaction with alcohol, or just a good old fashioned unprompted panic attack? I think that it’s good I’m journaling through it to get my thoughts out and also create a measurable reflection for the future. So clearly I should make a commitment to just quitting all of these things. I stopped drinking for 120 days this summer, and while it was a challenge at times from a boredom perspective, it was certainly more to my health benefit than whatever I have been going through the past few weeks. But quitting all of those things at once could have its own mental and physical impact if not handled correctly. I think a tiered system is needed for now, with some obvious priorities based on last nights attack: 1. Alcohol. That was a worthy commitment. It is directly and negatively interacting with the new meds. 2. Redbull. This is more of an easy win but is also completely unnecessary in my life. 3. Cannabis. The hardest one for me to drop. I just threw away two full ounces that I think may have been tainted/old. Anyways. Smoking in the mornings is an especially bad habit, so I’ll phase out this habit by focusing first on time of day. 4. Coffee. I love coffee. But nowadays I can feel the stomach discomfort in less than two cups. Sort of like the cannabis, approaching this from a time of day aspect will be effective. A good rule would be only make one pot per day, and revolve it around Stephanie’s wake time and not mine. Substitute with decaf teas. 5. Prednisone. This medication is currently a component of my treatment. I am on 40mg, having tapered down from 8 days of 60mg. Am I really having a wagerers episode or is this ALL anxiety? If so then I don’t actually need the prednisone. I’ll keep tapering this in cooperation with Dr. Hajj Ali’s recommendations.

Last night hit hard. My blood pressure spiked to 191/110, my heart rate hovered around 100, and my body locked up. I was shaking and tense, especially through my midsection. Stephanie grounded me with breathing and touch, and after about 15 minutes the episode faded. My meds yesterday were 3 buspirone in the morning, 2 more at 1pm, then another 2 when the attack began at 7pm. I added an extra metoprolol to rein things in. Within 30 minutes, my numbers were back to normal. It worked, but there's clearly a pattern behind these spikes. I also drank, and that’s the part that stings. Two glasses of wine between 5 and 7, and I could feel the attack building as the buzz hit. Cannabis has also been giving me anxious body responses lately. It’s obvious now: both are triggers. I want to pretend this might change later, but honestly the insight itself is the answer. Looking at this past year, I’ve been stacking anxiety triggers nonstop: 4am coffee, all-day cannabis, late-day Red Bulls, and overused prednisone. These combinations ramp up my heart, churn my stomach, spike my paranoia, and spin me into overactivity. It all feeds a cycle of overstimulation, panic, exhaustion, then more overstimulation. My sleep suffers, and I keep repeating the loop. It’s clear now that I’m dealing with some form of anxiety disorder, and it’s affecting me physically. Buspar might be a long-term medication for me, even this early, though I’m still figuring out dosage. I still don’t know if last night’s episode was a drug interaction, withdrawal, alcohol, or just a classic panic attack, but journaling is helping me map it. The fix is cutting the triggers. I proved I can stop drinking—120 days sober this summer was better than whatever this spiral is. Doing everything at once would be rough, so I’m staging the changes: 1) Alcohol: stop. It clashes with the meds. 2) Red Bull: drop it—it’s an easy win and unnecessary. 3) Cannabis: taper, starting with quitting morning use and tossing old supply. 4) Coffee: limit to one pot timed with Stephanie’s morning and swap in decaf tea. 5) Prednisone: keep tapering with Dr. Hajj Ali’s plan, and reassess whether the symptoms are anxiety-driven.